Blonde Jokes I
Smart blonde
A ventriloquist is touring the clubs and stops to entertain in a small town. He's going through his usual run of off-colour and "dumb blonde" jokes, when a well-presented blonde woman in the fourth row stands up and says:
"I've heard just about enough of your stupid blonde jokes, YOU CRETIN! What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What connection can a person's hair colour possibly have with their fundamental worth as a human being? It is morons like you that prevent women like myself from being respected at work and in our communities and from reaching our full potential...
"Because you and your anachronistic kind continue to perpetuate negative images against not only blondes, but women in general, for the sake of cheap laughs. You are a pathetic relic of the past, and what you do is not only in breach of the discrimination laws in every civilized country, it is deeply offensive to people with modern sensibilities and basic respect for their fellow citizens.
"You should hang your head in shame, you pusillanimous little maggot."
Flustered, the ventriloquist begins to apologies, when the blonde yells:
"You stay out of this Mister! I'm talking to that little creep on your knee."
Y2K Blonde
TO: Boss
FROM: Blondie
RE: Changing Calendars from Y2K
I hope that I haven't misunderstood your instructions because, to be honest, none of this Y to K problem made much sense to me.
At any rate, I have finished the conversion of all of the months on all of the company calendars for this year. The calendars now contain the following new months: Januark, Februark, Mak, Julk.
I also changed all the days of each week to: Sundak, Mondak, Tuesdak, Wednesdak, Thursdak, Fridak, and Saturdak.
Now we are now Y to K compliant...
Blonde Tourists
Two tourist groups, one made up of all blondes and one of all brunettes, charter a double-decker bus for a weekend in Vegas. The brunettes ride in the bottom of the bus and the blondes ride on the top level. The brunettes down below are whooping it up and having a great time when one of them realizes she doesn't hear anything from the blondes upstairs.
She decides to go up and investigate. When the brunette reaches the top, she finds all the blondes frozen in fear, staring straight ahead at the road and clutching the seats in front of them.
The brunette says, "What is going on up here? We're having a great time downstairs!"
One of the blondes says, "Yeah, but you've got a driver!"