Bumper Stickers - Funny Bumper Stickers from Around the World
* He who laughs last thinks slowest.
* Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.
* Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
* Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
* It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
* Time is what keeps everything from happening at once.
* I get enough exercise just pushing my luck.
* Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.
* Very funny Scotty, now beam down my clothes.
* There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.
* Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
* Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.
* Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
* Learn from your parents' mistakes - use birth control.
* OK, who stopped payment on my reality check?
* Few women admit their age; Fewer men act theirs.
* I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
* Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW.
* Time is the best teacher, unfortunately it kills all of its students.
* Some people are only alive because it is illegal to kill.
* Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have.
* A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
* We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things got worse.
* Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
* Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
* Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word?
* Assist the Police -- Beat yourself up!
* Vehicle secured by mafia: You hit our car, we hit your car.
* Don't steal, the Government hates competition.
* Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
* What is a "free" gift ? Aren't all gifts free?
* Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.
* I'm as confused as a baby in a topless bar.
* Promote pork, run over a chicken! *
* < < - - suicide .... . . .... passing side - - >
* I brake for hallucinations.
* Yes, as a matter of fact, I do own the whole damn road!
* Honk if you understand punctuated equilibrium.
* Wanna get stoned? Drink Wet Cement!
* Thanks for not BREEDING!
* My Child Can Beat Up Your Honor Student.
* Don't Laugh - Your Daughter Might Be In Here. (On Old Truck)
* Cats Flattened While You Watch.
* I May Be Fat but You're Ugly - and I Can Lose Weight.
* My Other Car is a Broom.
* "Happiness is your Mother-In-Law's Picture on the Back of a Milk Carton"
* Stupid People Shouldn't Breed.
* Have You Flogged Your Crew Today?
* Husbands Are Proof That Women Have a Sense of Humor.
* Eat American Lamb. Ten Million Coyotes Can't be Wrong.
* Old Skiers Never Die. They Just go Downhill.
* Money Isn't Everything, But it Sure Keeps the Kids In Touch.
* My Karma just ran over your Dogma.
* Hug Your Kids at Home and Belt Them in the Car.
* Welcome to Colorado - Now Go Home
* Smile - Its The Second Best Thing you can do with Your Lips.
* Don't Honk - I'm Pedaling as Fast as I Can
* This Vehicle Swerves and Hits Pedestrians at Random
* Black Holes Suck.
* Lobotomies for Republicans - It's the Law
* I Love My Country - But Fear My Government
* If you don't like the way I drive, get the fu*k off the sidewalk.
* My honor student will be your kid's boss. And payback's a BITCH!
* My child was Inmate of the Month at County Jail
* Don't like my driving? Build your own fucking highway!
* My daughter is student of the month at State Prison Fire Fighters School
* Whoever said money can't buy happiness doesn't know where to shop
* Happiness can't buy money
* CAUTION - BLIND DRIVER
* Got a gun for my wife.........best trade I ever made
* If they outlaw guns, can we use swords?
* Warning: Driver only carries $20.00 worth of ammunition!
* Gun control is hitting what you shoot at
* I wonder if you could drive any better if that car phone was up your ass!
* Honk if you're over insured
* Hope you don't screw like you park, you'd never get it in!
* If you parked any closer I'd need a can opener to get out!
* Don't Like My Driving? Dial 1-800-EAT-SHIT
* FEED THE HOMELESS, TO THE HUNGRY
* What a lovely day, now watch some bastard come and spoil it!
* It's not my driving, I'm trying to reload
* Don't drink and drive...you might hit a bump and spill your drink
* Daddy, why doesn't this magnet pick up this floppy disk?
* Jesus saves...by shopping wisely and using coupons
* Save the trees, wipe your butt with an owl.
* Constant change is here to stay
* CAUTION: I drive like you do.
* Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
* Sorry, I don't date outside my species.
* I'm the guy your parents warned you about.
* Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
* Most people make sense. I'm not one of them.
* I'm not a complete Idiot, some parts are missing.
* You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
* Couldn't afford to fix my brakes, so I made my horn louder.
* Public opinion is what people think other people are thinking.
* Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
* Of course I'm Drunk...Do I Look like a Bloody Stunt Driver?
* STOP GLOBAL WHINING
* Drive safely: heaven's full
* Too close for missiles: Switching to guns.
* I love pigeons... I mean squab...
* Horn broken: Watch for finger.
* So many pedestrians, so little time.
* No radio, already stolen.
* Roses are red Violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic, And so am I
* Depression is merely anger without the enthusiasm
* I may be slow but at least I'm ahead of you!
* FIGHT for the RIGHTS of bacteria! - it's the only culture some people have
* Energizer Bunny arrested - charged with battery
* My kid gave your honor student the answers to the final exam!
* I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.
* I considered atheism but there weren't enough holidays.
* Me a skeptic? I hope you have proof.
* Personally, I'm not gifted, I'm weird.
* To err is human, to moo, bovine.
* If at first you don't succeed, to hell with it.
* Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid doing altogether.
* Don't you just hate rhetorical questions?
* No electrons were harmed in the creation of this message.
* Tell me what you believe and I'll tell you where you're going wrong.
* If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?
* If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
* Life takes its toll. Bring change.
* Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.
* Everyone has a right to be stupid. Some just abuse the privilege.
* The facts, though interesting, are irrelevant.
* Someone who thinks logically is a nice contrast to the real world.
* The more you run over a dead cat, the flatter it gets.
* I put the "fun" in dysfunctional.
* I don't live in fantasy; I only work there.
* Last night as I lay in bed looking at the stars I thought: "Where the hell is the ceiling?!"
* Now Accepting Compliments
* If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
* Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.
* Put on your seatbelt... I wanna try something.
* There's no future in time travel.
* Radioactive cats have 18 half-lives.
* Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?
* Death is hereditary.
* I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
* Multitasking - screwing up several things at once.
* Beat the 5 o'clock rush - Leave work at noon!
* Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.
* Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
* Polynesia: memory loss in parrots.
* Join the Army, meet interesting people, and kill them.
* Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
* For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.
* OK, so what's the speed of dark?
* Black holes are where God divided by zero.
* All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.
* There's an exception to every rule, except this one.
* Lost your cat? Look under my tires.
* (Written in really tiny writing) Nosey little fucker, aren't you?
* I do what the voices in my head tell me.
* In God we trust. All others we monitor.
* The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.
* Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
* A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
* Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive.
* If at first you do succeed, try not to look astonished.
* Work is for people who don't know how to fish.
* As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.
* I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather ... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
* I said "no" to drugs, but they just wouldn't listen.
* I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
* It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.
* I souport publik edukayshun
* I like you, but I wouldn't want to see you working with subatomic particles.
* Life's a bitch. So am I.
* I'm only driving this way to piss you off.
* I love cats, they taste just like chicken.
* Ask me about microwaving cats for fun and for profit.
* Thank God I'm an Atheist
* God doesn't believe in Atheists.
* Friends don't let friends drive naked.