Question: Why did the chicken cross the road ?
KINDERGARTEN TEACHER :
To get to the other side.
ANDERSEN CONSULTING :
Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with
significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market.Andersen Consulting, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes.Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), Andersen helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences to align the chicken's people, rocesses and technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework. Andersen Consulting convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along with Anderson consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergize with each other in order to achieve the implicit goals of delivering and successfully architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes.The meeting was held in a park-like setting, enabling and creating an impactful environment which was strategically based, industry-focused, and built upon a consistent, clear, and unified market message and aligned with the chicken's mission, vision, and core values.This was conducive towards the creation of a total business integration solution.Andersen Consulting helped the chicken change to become more successful.
MOSES :
And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road."And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.
FOX MULDER:
You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross the road before you believe it?
COLONEL SANDERS:
You mean I missed one ?
L.A. POLICE DEPARTMENT:
Give us five minutes with the chicken and we'll find out.
HOMER SIMPSON:
mmmmmm.. Chicken.
RICHARD M. NIXON:
The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did not crossthe road. I don't know any chickens. I have never known any chickens. What's a Chicken ?
DR. SEUSS:
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes! The chicken crossed the road,
but why it crossed, I've not been told!
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.:
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roadswithouthaving their motives called into question.
GRANDPA:
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. If someone toldus that the chicken crossed the road, that was good enough for us.
ARISTOTLE:
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
KARL MARX:
It was a historical inevitability.
CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK:
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
FREUD:
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the roadreveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
BILL GATES:
I have just released Chicken 98, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book, and Explorer is an inextricable part of the operating system.
EINSTEIN:
Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?
BILL CLINTON:
I DID NOT cross the road with THAT chicken.
SINN FEIN:
That would be a matter for the chicken. Sinn Fein and the chicken are not part of the same organisation, although we share some ideals in common. If there are presently any chickens in Sinn Fein, we are not aware of it.
ORANGE ORDER:
The chicken is entitled to walk in a peaceful manner on the Queen's Highway. It's a traditional route. Anyone who tries to
deny the chicken his rights to walk on the road will find the road blocked at both ends until the chicken is allowed to walk in a dignified and non-threatening manner, without accompanying bands if need be.
DUP:
We are implacably opposed to the chicken crossing the road until the chicken's armaments have been removed and the chicken itself declares it's diabolical intentions.
IRA:
On behalf of the people of Ireland, we reserve the right to defend the roads of the island against the chicken. For 800 years the Irish People have resisted the imposition of chickens by force of arms and shall continue to do so until the chicken is expelled from our land. Anyone collaborating with the chicken, or assisting or enabling the imposition of road crossing by chickens, will be deemed legitimate targets in our struggle against tyranny.
UFF:
We, the loyal defenders of Ulster roads, reserve our right to retaliate against any precipitory hostile actions by the chicken. We shall meet force with deadly force. (A donation to the Loyalist Prisoners Association will ensure free passage of the chicken with respect to the road and the crossing thereof, till the same time next month anyhow. (Do chickens have kneecaps?)
UUP/SDLP Joint statement:
We believe that only by working together in unison, and with the majority of the people of this island, the British and Irish governments and our friends overseas behind us, can we find the answer to this question. If we do not, or cannot, then our children will rightfully ask us the question, 'So why did the chicken cross the road?'
THE HOME SECRETARY, UK GOV.:
While not normally commenting on security matters, Her Majesty's Government feels it is right and proper, in this instance, to make a statement on this affair. - Members of the Special Air Services involved in a covert anti-terrorist operation on the road at 8:42 this morning observed the chicken attempting to cross the road. As the chicken was approached by one of the soldiers involved, it was seen to make a threatening movement and action was taken to nullify that action. It has not been ascertained why the chicken was crossing the road, and it seems unlikely that we will now discover the motive.
Other Suggestions
Why didn't the chicken gross the road?
Cos it didn't want people making jokes about it anymore.
Bill Jordan ; Oct 31 2001