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Click Here to Print This Page. Ensure your printer is switched on, with paper in the feeder and is connected to your machine.Back to the previous page ...Click here to return to the main Humour and Jokes indexClick Here to E-Mail a free link to this page to your friend. Next Page will require your name and email as well as that of your friend.

Man who run in front of car get tired.

Man who run behind car get exhausted.

Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.

Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.

Man with one chopstick go hungry.

Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.

Baseball is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk.

War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.

Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.

Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.

Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.

Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.

Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.

Man who fart in church sit in own pew.

Crowded elevator smell different to midget.

Man who wants pretty nurse, must be patient.

Man who love and loses, have not right lawyer.

When man 60 marry girl 25, like buying book for someone else to read.

Man who pushes piano down mineshaft get A flat miner.

Television never replace old reliable key hole.

Laziest man in world who marry widow with six children.

Man who put head on railroad track get splitting headache.

Girl who do back spring on bedspring have offspring next spring.

Man who fall in vat of molten glass make spectacle of self.

Honeymoon over when man who whispered sweet nothings before now say nothing sweet.

Man who sneezes without hanky takes matters into his own hands.

Man who walk middle of road get run over by bus.

Man who eat jellybean relieve self in technicolor.

Man who keep feet firmly on ground have trouble putting on pants!

Man who sit on tack get point!

A girl's best asset is her 'lie'ability.

He who eats crackers in bed get crummy sleep.

Eunuch not strange creature, just man cut out to be bachelor.

Man who dream of eating giant mushroom---wake up with no pillow.

Butcher who backs into meat grinder get a little behind in his orders.

Chemist who fall in acid, absorbed in work.

Man do not mind bust in mouth if provided by beautiful voluptuous lady.

Man become old when he watch food instead of waitress.

Wise man never play leapfrog with a unicorn.

Man who drop watch in toilet have crappy time.

Man trapped in pantry have himself in jam.

Women take to good hearted men. Also from.

Man who shoot off mouth, expect to lose face.

Man with big mouth, beware of foot.

House without bathroom, uncanny.

Man who throw dirt, losing ground.

Two wrongs not make right, but two rights make U-turn

Do not drink and park, accidents cause people.

Man who crosses ocean twice without washing, is a dirty double crosser.

He who have last laugh, not get joke.

Man who throw away watch, wasting time.


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