How to Describe an Idiot

1. A few fries short of a Happy Meal.
2. A few beers short of a six-pack.
3. A few feathers short of a whole duck.
4. Couldn't pour water out of a boot with the instructions on the heel.
5. An intellect rivaled only by garden tools.
6. The wheel is spinning but the hamster is dead.
7. A few bricks shy of a full load.
8. Elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor.
9. Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse.
10. Dumber than a box of hair.
11. Fell out of the stupid tree and hit all of the branches on the way down.
12. Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash.
13. Doesn't know much, but leads the league in nostril hair.
14. Forgot to pay his brain bill.
15. A few clowns short of a circus.
16. If he had another brain it would be lonely.
17. Too much yardage between the goal posts.
18. An experiment in Artificial Stupidity.
19. A few peas short of a casserole.
20. Doesn't have all his corn flakes in one bowl.
21. All foam no beer.
22. The cheese slid off of his cracker.
23. Body by Fisher, brains by Mattel.
24. Has an IQ of 2, but it takes 3 to grunt.
25. As smart as bait.
26. Chimney's clogged.
27. Her sewing machine is out of thread.
28. His antenna doesn't get all of the channels.
29. Missing a few buttons on the remote control.
30. His belt doesn't go through all the loops.
31. In the pinball game of life, his flippers are a little too far apart.
32. Receiver is off the hook.
33. Several nuts short of a full pouch.
34. No grain in the silo.
35. Skylight leaks a little.
36. Slinky's kinked.
37. Surfing in Nebraska.

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