My Writings. My Thoughts.

0 to 200 in 10 seconds

// September 23rd, 2010 // Comments Off on 0 to 200 in 10 seconds // Funny but lame Jokes

Will was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed.

She told him “Will, Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in front of the house that goes from 0 to 200 in 10 seconds … And it better be there !”

The next morning he Will got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and she smiled … there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Smaller than she thought – perhaps its keys!

Confused, Wills wife put on her gown and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house.

She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Will has been missing since Friday.

Top 100 Jokes in the World … Ever

// November 16th, 2009 // Comments Off on Top 100 Jokes in the World … Ever // Classic Jokes

Have you ever just wanted to know what the best jokes in the world were? Well you can read the top 100 on a great website. An example and the link is given below.

#10. Two campers are walking through the woods when a huge brown bear suddenly appears in the clearing about 50 feet in front of them. The bear sees the campers and begins to head toward them. The first guys drops his backpack, digs out a pair of sneakers, and frantically begins to put them on. The second guys says, “What are you doing? Sneakers won’t help you outrun that bear.” “I don’t need to outrun the bear,” the first guy says. “I just need to outrun you.”

If you are looking for the worlds funniest jokes ever – then check out http://www.bluedonut.com/jokes.htm, an excellent website with some really funny jokes.

Include your Children when Baking Cookies

// November 11th, 2009 // Comments Off on Include your Children when Baking Cookies // Funny Real Life Jokes

This was an actual newspaper headline.

Click here to read more…

Bad Puns / Sayings

// May 16th, 2009 // Comments Off on Bad Puns / Sayings // Funny but lame Jokes

Here are a few bad puns / sayings.

I keep getting splinters – Hopefully I won’t get any more … touch wood!

My Parents made lots of sacrifices when I was younger … they wre druids

Don’t ring the Swine Flu Hotline … all I got was crackling.
Don’t email them either … all I got was SPAM.